On shapeshifting.

 It took me a while, but I wrote something something about my experiences with shapeshifting. It isn't all that long, but what should I expect. Describing all that I am is hard, and what I am rejects descriptions.

 

I did not proof read this.

 

In my free time, I like to close my eyes and imagine. On a good day, I'm able to imagine things with such vividness it's like I'm really there. And at times, if I focus on my form, I can feel what it's like to be different things. Animals, inanimate objects, rivers, music, the wind, nothing, anything one could possibly think of. I don't know if I can describe the experience wholly, it feels as natural as breathing is to those who need air. 

 

Being what I am, something I can only describe with difficulty, the number of forms I can take are limitless. I am but an avatar of sorts of that vast nameless thing that is everything. No matter how I describe or label it, nothing ever seems right, the same way nothing ever seems right for me. Writing this is hard, words are hard, but if I were to use analogies.....it would be like how the director of Digi/mon Adven/ture, Hiro/yuki Kaku/dou described digi/mon evolution.

 

When it is time for the digi/mon to evolve, the children's digi/vices send a signal to what can be described as the cloud of the digi/tal world. All of the world's information is stored there, and the signal simply downloads the data/information that is needed for the digi/mon to evolve into their next form. Basically, for agu/mon to become grey/mon, he just needs to download grey/mon's data and put on a new texture after modifying his wireframe and capabilities. It is less evolution as we know it, and more of a metamorphosis. 

 

It isn't the perfect analogy. But being everything, all the information across the multiverse is already in me. I need only tap into it with a thought or my will alone. If I wished, I can be anything from a god or pika/chu. And I am sure my essence would change to match those things as well.

 

On Tey/vat, I'm unsure if anyone could see through my disguise. Given they ever had the chance to meet me. And I don't know if I ever let anyone know of what I was, though I do have a memory of entertaining the traveler and Pai/mon a bit. They definitely goaded me to take even bigger forms, all in good fun......I can't resist sopping wet pleading eyes.

 

On the other hand, when I wasn't being encouraged to fool around I think I spent most of my time in forms that never exceeded the size of a 4'9"ish elf. I didn't like drawing attention to myself, and I think a part of me understood that there was a very fine line between what a human considered a benevolent divine thing and a monster.

 

Emotions and my environment influence me easily. I was rather quiet, reserved, and subdued. I was scared of hurting others and still am. To me, hurting others is equivalent to hurting oneself so I avoid it. If I kept others at a distance, then the risk of becoming something frightening due to stress or anger is lessened. This isn't to say I couldn't control my form, I certainly could, but being something so vast and fluid.......the ocean is a fickle thing. If others think they could sail my heart without a care for my feelings, then I might just drown them or drown myself in the process.

 

Currently, I can still feel myself take on different shapes. All dependent on how I feel, personal choice, or whatever piece of media I consumed recently. But when I'm awake at night and at peace, I can honestly say that I feel like absolutely nothing.