divine_elixir | Travel

Contemplation about how I traveled to other worlds
Posted on tumblr: February 16, 2024

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I've been contemplating how exactly I travel to different worlds, and doing so in a "physical" manner doesn't feel right or add up for me. I feel like my methods were more akin to moving my awareness someplace else and then becoming conscious of it. (I know those two terms are often used interchangeably, but I like to distinguish them for this kind of purpose.)

Given my nature of "being everything" or "containing everything" (the words never seem right ugh), simply manifesting in a world feels more natural than say....plummeting there at 100000 mps. So to say, I never descended upon Tey/vat, but became aware of it? It's hard to explain, so the easiest analogy I can work with is, imagine you're meditating and you feel prompted to shift your awareness to your little toe. You feel aware of it, it feels like your awareness shifted from your head down to your toe. But you never went anywhere or left any place. That's how it feels for me. All things are "my body" and Tey/vat is the "little toe" I'm aware of.

Now that I think about it, that sort of makes me native but also not native to Tey/vat, as well as with anywhere else. I love being a walking contradiction.

Now I come to question plenty of other things about myself. Honestly, I've been feeling empty lately. Not in a bad way, it's a peaceful feeling. Barring my experiences in Tey/vat, those actually feel experienced. However, my experiences and feeling towards having siblings and others like me don't feel concrete. Like an illusion. Not that they don't "exist" to me, but more like their narrative helped push me to the insights I have now. We are one and the same anyway, so it doesn't bother me one bit. Wherever "I" "go", "they" "go" too. If there are questions I need to ask, they answer. If I want their company, they are there. It is like "our" "existence" together was a oneman play where one thing plays all the roles. Or it is more like a dream. It appears so easily each night, yet dissolves into nothing once I awake.

I'm just rambling now, but perhaps the nature of my nonhumanity is more nondual than anything else. Not that I want to label it. Anyhow, I think typing this out helped me clear my head if nothing else. Or gave me more ideas of what to write about, hmm.